Saturday, May 5, 2012

Keys to Healthy Relationships


Keys to Healthy Relationships
Through Personal Maturity
(Informed by Family Systems Theory) 

I am at my best in relationships and I am becoming more fully human when . . .
      I take full responsibility for my own emotions and reactions. (vs. “You made me mad . . . glad . . . sad . . .”
      I am able to observe my actions, reactions and patterns of behavior and change them to fit the situation. (vs. trying to change the other)
      I can stay in contact with others in one-to-one relationships, even when tension builds. (vs. distancing, “triangling” or blaming) 
      I am willing to do more than “my share” to initiate contact with others in my significant relationship systems. (vs. rigid reciprocity)
     I recognize that I have a choice about whether to take on the anxieties of others around me. (vs. “group reaction”, over functioning and rescuing)
     I do not require the approval of others around me. (vs. being driven to get approval, being defined by the opinions of others)
     I keep my focus on managing myself. (at least 51% of the time) in and out of relationships (vs. self-criticism or blaming others)
     I make important relationship decisions calmly and thoughtfully, and in light of my values, principles, vision, etc. (vs. emotionally driven, impulsive decisions)
     I can think, decide and act on principle, with the knowledge of who I am and whose I am. (vs. clinging to “togetherness pressures” or “group think”) 

Image: The Conversation by  Abraham Leon Kroll, 1920

No comments:

Post a Comment