SeiCreate: May 2012

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Keys to Healthy Relationships

Through Personal Maturity

(Informed by Family Systems Theory)

I am at my best in relationships and I am becoming more fully human when . . .

I take full responsibility for my own emotions and reactions. (vs. “You made me mad . . . glad . . . sad . . .”
I am able to observe my actions, reactions and patterns of behavior and change them to fit the situation. (vs. trying to change the other)
      I can stay in contact with others in one-to-one relationships, even when tension builds. (vs. distancing, “triangling” or blaming)
      I am willing to do more than “my share” to initiate contact with others in my significant relationship systems. (vs. rigid reciprocity)
     I recognize that I have a choice about whether to take on the anxieties of others around me. (vs. “group reaction”, over functioning and rescuing)
     I do not require the approval of others around me. (vs. being driven to get approval, being defined by the opinions of others)
     I keep my focus on managing myself. (at least 51% of the time) in and out of relationships (vs. self-criticism or blaming others)
   I make important relationship decisions calmly and thoughtfully, and in light of my values, principles, vision, etc. (vs. emotionally driven, impulsive decisions)
     I can think, decide and act on principle, with the knowledge of who I am and whose I am. (vs. clinging to “togetherness pressures” or “group think”)

Image: The Conversation by Abraham Leon Kroll, 1920

My Purpose

My primary task is to help individuals to make creative change in order to live more flourishing in aspects that are important to them by use of coaching, motivational and strength-based techniques based on positive psychology.

The techniques are practical and straightforward and do not involve painful analysis of one’s past. They are designed to be helpful, strength-based, constructive and supportive.

I am a life coach and counselor and able to utilize various mediums to provide coaching services, such as face-to-face, telephone and email.

What is Life Coaching?

There is no agreed definition of life coaching. However, coaching often contains the following features:

Techniques and simple strategies for helping you to close the gap between where you are now and what you want to achieve

The opportunity to discuss your problems/challenges, your feelings and your aims with an independent person in non-judgmental facilitative coaching sessions

The chance to think through your options and decide on what actions you want to try out to help you achieve your goals and deal with your concerns

A type of support that focuses on achieving positive/creative results and is forward looking

Simple processes and easy-to-follow models to help you to make choices for yourself and make your life more purposeful and meaningful

A type of support which is holistic, i.e. encourages you to achieve overall well being and to set in balance the different aspects of your life.

How Does Life Coaching Work?

The aim of the coaching sessions is to assist you in making a practicable and often enjoyable movement to what and where you want to be. For each coaching session we arrange for you to meet or call at an agreed time when I guarantee to be available.

Coaching sessions can last 45 minutes (Standard) or 1 hour (Extended) and can be purchased individually or in blocks, whichever you prefer.

Based on your need and requirements, other flexible solutions could be provided, for example, 30 minute sessions, phone and email coaching sessions.

The initial session is offered without cost (30 minutes). After the first session, I offer a second session at an agreed upon cost. By the third session, I am usually able to offer a proposed preliminary plan or Coaching Agreement with cost, preliminary goals and processes.

Tailoring the Life Coaching Sessions

Coaching sessions will look at your individual needs and wishes and aim to help you to come up with and implement strategies to help you progress with the issues that are most important to you.

The content of each session is tailored to your particular requirements/needs. It will vary depending on whether you are looking for help in relationships, school, work, business, or personal development issues.

Each session will conclude with us agreeing suggested steps for you to try out in relation to your concerns be they self esteem, anxiety, stress, school, work, relationship or other matters.

The frequency of coaching sessions can be adjusted to suit your individual circumstances. You can arrange sessions to whatever seems best for your needs.

What is Included in Coaching Sessions?

- Face-to-face or telephone coaching sessions, and/or email contact that is tailored to your individual requirements/needs

- Information and advice on relevant coaching and strength-based techniques

- Discussion and setting of goals, desired outcomes and actions

- Progress on actions will be reviewed at each session and any learning points or assignments completed will be discussed to assist progress.

- I can also negotiate creative solutions with challenging needs and schedules

Extended Coaching Sessions include:

1. The creation of a Project Plan that captures the agreed upon steps and outcomes

2. Outcomes aimed for

3. Actions agreed for you to try out

4. Any assignments for you to undertake between sessions

Human Flourishing

Let the youthful soul look back on life with the question: what have you truly loved up to now, what has drawn your soul aloft, what has mastered it and at the same time blessed it? Set up these revered objects before you and perhaps their nature and their sequence will give you a law, the fundamental law of your own true self. Compare these objects one with another, see how one completes, expands, surpasses, transfigures another, how they constitute a stepladder upon which you have clambered up to yourself as you are now; for your true nature lies, not concealed deep within you, but immeasurably high above you, or at least above that which you usually take yourself to be. _ F Nietzsche, "Schopenhauer as Educator"